I feel that I have been very open and share a lot of my personal experiences here on Coniffdence. I share my good days (and my bad) and try not to hold anything back. I don’t censor myself in an effort to protect anyone, and I own my feelings, whether you find them right, wrong or indifferent.
However, there is one main thing I don’t share here: my dreams. I’m not talking about my hopes and dreams for the future (or my lost dreams) but my nightly dreams about Jennifer. I find them to be so unbelievably personal; I don’t want to share them. I’ve had some really amazing ones, and some really upsetting ones, but still, they’re my dreams. I usually wake up stunned, and need a few moments to rationalize what I just dreamt. In a split second I usually decide if:
- Was my dream real?
- Did that really happen?
- Was what happened in my dream able to actually happen?
- Where is Jen? (Sometime, I still forget what happened)
After I wake up, I usually lay in bed for a few moments to collect my thoughts, cry if necessary (which it usually is) and try and fall back asleep. Sometimes I don’t understand where my brain comes up with these dreams, but I’m just glad I have them. The thing is, I remember these dreams so much better than my other dreams, and recall almost every detail. Still, in my dreams, Jen looks different, usually because she is wearing atypical clothes for her style, and he hair is usually messed up.
As I’m trying to type this, I keep getting all teary eyed because I vividly remember from my last dream that Jen gave me a big hug, and I can still feel the warmth and embrace from her.
Thank God I still get dream-hugs from her ❤
*Note: If you hover over the image above, you will notice the title of the picture is “me n jack in pants.” Niff must have renamed the picture. I love when I find random treasures like that from her