I don’t know why, but this was a rough weekend for me, filled with lots of tears. There were so many things that reminded me of Jen, or caught me off guard, and made me really, really sad.
Shall we recap?
I went to BJ’s with my Mom to do some grocery shopping. We were walking up and down the freezer isles, when I looked and saw the section of french toast sticks. I said to my Mom, “That is something you haven’t bought in a while,” to which she replied, “I haven’t needed to buy them.” Just thinking about not having to buy them anymore, because Niff was the only one who ate them, made me really sad.
My Lobster and I were in the car driving to go bowling, when I saw a rainbow in the sky. I pulled into a parking lot, and took a quick picture.
As we continued driving, we kept seeing the rainbow in the sky.
At the bowling ally, everything was going well. I got a few strikes, and we were having a lot of fun. I was thirsty, and asked the Lobster to please get me a soda, and he walked over to the concession stand. I went up to our lane to bowl, and looked over and saw a kid wearing one of the RIP Niffie shirts. I lost it. I just stood there with my bowling ball crying. When the Lobster came back, he asked me what was wrong and I just pointed to the kid wearing the shirt.
This pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day.
Later, we went to the mall as I needed to buy birthday cards, and had a great coupon to use. I was picking out cards, and reading them made me cry again. I was sitting on the floor, crying, and continued browsing for the perfect cards. (I apologize to anyone who may buy a card from the Hallmark in the mall that has tear drops on it).
Lastly, we went to the Outback for dinner. It was a ridiculous wait, but we got seated and ordered our dinner. Our waiter? The same guy Jen and I had when we went the last time. I distinctively remember him, because he was flirting with Jen and invited her out to a party that night. Lobster and I were talking about various stuff, and whenever I tried to talk about Niff, I started crying again. My napkin was covered in makeup from me wiping my eyes.
I told him I was sorry for ruining dinner, but then quickly said, “No, I am not apologizing for my tears.”
I think the holiday season is starting to get to me…