I hate August. Okay, that is pretty harsh to say, but I really, really don’t like August.
Today is the 15th, which means in two days, it will be the 17th. Which, as many of you know, will be the 3 year anniversary of Jen’s passing. First lets all just say that it has been both the fastest and slowest three years; at times it seems like eons ago I last saw Nif, and then it feels like her funeral was yesterday.
I’ve been unbelievably busy, and have not had time for anything (which is why I have neglected my blog). However, on the eve of such an important day, I will make time to share some thoughts and feelings.
Overall, this has been one of the craziest and busiest years on record for myself. But just because I am busy, does not mean that I miss Jen any less. Not a single day goes by that I don’t miss her. I still get weepy when certain songs come on, or when other people talk about their own sisters.
A few weeks back, I went with my best friend to pick up her wedding dress. She tried it on, came out of the dressing room, and looked absolutely stunning. And then, I thought that I would never get the chance to see my own sister in her wedding dress. This was the only time I would have that experience to see someone so important to me pick up her dress; it was both an unbelievably happy and sad moment and the same time.
Also this year, I moved in with my boyfriend, and was able to decorate as we saw fit. I didn’t want to make a shrine to Jen, but we’ve added tiny little things that remind me of her every day; a giant sunflower painting, a quote with the word “Confidence” on it, and a small sunflower ornament. Plus, I have a beautiful photo of the two of us on my night stand. It is in an old butterfly frame that I refuse to replace.
Do I think I’ve come a long way in my grief? Absolutely. With that being said, I still miss Nif more than words could ever say.
I also want to blog more often. However, sometimes I run out of ideas. PLEASE send me any topics or ideas you would like me to address and write about. It would be a huge help. xoxo