How to Plan a Wedding Without Your Little Sister

As many of you may know, I am in the midst of planning a wedding. My fiancé and I  have been working together over the past few months and have been making amazing progress with booking vendors, creating gusts lists, and planning out our special day.

However, there is a constant reminder that Jen will not be at our wedding, and it sometimes makes planning difficult and emotional. 

One of the hardest parts of planning a wedding without your sister is picking the bridal party. My whole life, I knew that Jen was going to be standing next to me on my wedding day, holding my bouquet and fluffing my dress. I have no regrets about my beautiful bridal party now; I just wish Nif was there too.

(special shout out to RP, AT, RR, CN, GK, EB, and JC ❤ )

Another big issue is finding the right way to honor Jen at out wedding without it seeming like a memorial service. Both my fiancé and I have had a lot of loss in our families and we want to find a special way to let them know we miss them all on the most important day of our lives. We explained this to our officiants, and they said that we can honor them during the ceremony. Adam and I have toyed with the idea, but have yet to ultimately decide what we want to to.

I spend a lot of time on Pinterest looking at wedding boards and getting inspiration, and have seen a few things other brides’ have done to honor those they have lost.

Honor Those Who Have Passed | Jacqueline DeVito

One idea I saw was to put a picture of those who have passed on a chair during the ceremony.
Pro: Simple yet powerful way to include passed family members
Con: We would have an entire row of portraits….

Honor Those Who Have Passed | Jacqueline DeVito

Another idea I saw was to bring a picture of Jen with me, and have the photographer capture a shot of me in the background, and include Nif’s image in the foreground.
Pro: An intimate way to have a moment captured with Jen; very private and personal
Con: I haven’t thought of one yet…

Honor Those Who Have Passed at a Wedding | Jacqueline DeVito

The last idea I thought about was a memorial candle with some signage that reads, “In memory of those who have gone before us.” (or something to that effect).
Pro: Simple and meaningful
Con: Perhaps this is too simple

We still have time to decide what we want to do, but it is never too early to start thinking about ideas!

What did you do at your wedding, or have seen done, to honor those who have passed?

We know you would be here today is Heaven weren't too far away


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Erica
    May 21, 2015 @ 10:34:52


    I have gone to a wedding where at the reception they had a special table set up for only portraits of people that have passed away in their family (including Jen) with a candle on each side of each portrait. When it was time for the bride and groom to make their thank you speech, they gave acknowledgement to those who have passed away. I’m not exactly sure what you would want to do for the actual ceremony since it is a very delicate situation like you said, but I just wanted to give you some feedback that was very touching to everyone and it didn’t end up too simple at all. Maybe you would like more acknowledgement to your loved ones, but if you need help I’ll look online for some ideas for you =) Love you ❤


  2. alyssa
    May 21, 2015 @ 14:02:35

    Vito, it’s Alyssa! This would probably be in addition to some of the options you’ve mentioned but I’ve seen people put charms and pictures of loved ones on their bouquet. It’s a nice way to keep her close to you while you’re walking down the aisle 🙂


  3. Daina
    May 21, 2015 @ 18:41:23

    Hi Jacqueline 🙂 My brother and his wife had a table with photographs as well and one of the speeches included a moment of silence for those who were pictured. Hope you get some great ideas! xoxo TFJ


  4. beneathapricity
    Jun 04, 2015 @ 05:43:23

    I love ur blog and have also experience loss in my family xx stay strong, God bless


  5. Val Turco
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 13:56:35

    Not sure if Ali told you, but we did the memory table with the quote in the photo you have above (we know you would be here today…) but I also had photos hanging from my bouquet in tiny little frames – got them at David’s Bridal ( My florist worked them into the flowers and told me that walking down the aisle during the ceremony they should face me, and then walking out they face everyone else…it was sweet and simple and now I have the entire bouquet in a shadow box with the little frames too 🙂


  6. Trackback: Something Blue | Coniffdence | Gaining Strength After the Loss of My Little Sister

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